Like some 1950s house wife

Well, well, well this holiday has come and gone. It has been a rough month. I've been in a down cycle throughout the whole month. Driving by myself across country didn't help my mood either.

It's our second Christmas without my father. It helps that my mother moved into a new place, but it is still difficult. I have had a hard time being here because being here reminds me that my father is no longer alive. It's easy to forget what happened when I am 2000 miles away. My grandmother is now in the hospital and doesn't seem to be doing ok. At least I know if she dies my last words to her were not words urging her on to her death. I know my father was going to die no matter what; and I know that in someway what I said gave him permission to leave this world and the pain he was in, but still.....

Just the same the holiday was good. I got a sewing machine, which makes me very happy. We got some patterns and fabric today. I also got some cooking stuff including the cookbook I wanted, 100 Ways to be Pasta. My mom threw in a pasta maker too. I will happily spend the new year sewing and cooking. Please come on by for a dinner party.

Gee, I sound like some 1950s house wife.