Try, Try, Try
Things are not fairing well. While it did seem excellent that I got out twice on Friday. Angela and I had lunch. I also when to Angela's birthday party.
Today has been rough. While trying to make this self discovery I am after, I am hurting people. That was never my goal. I wonder if I should just do what I did last time I tried it, scrap it. Is it worth it? After hearing all the damage I have caused, it was too much. I went into a crying fit followed by an anxiety attack. It's one of the worst I've had recently. Even hours later my chest/lungs still hurt. I'm also very physically and mentally drained. I'm ready to just give up.
Today has been rough. While trying to make this self discovery I am after, I am hurting people. That was never my goal. I wonder if I should just do what I did last time I tried it, scrap it. Is it worth it? After hearing all the damage I have caused, it was too much. I went into a crying fit followed by an anxiety attack. It's one of the worst I've had recently. Even hours later my chest/lungs still hurt. I'm also very physically and mentally drained. I'm ready to just give up.
posted by C'eleste @ 12:14 AM
1 Comments:
At 3:38 PM ,
Anonymous said...
"I wonder if I should just do what I did last time I tried it, scrap it."
Scrapping it will get you nowhere. You'll reach the same point later in your life. If you have tried several times before to "find yourself" YOU'RE not gonna be happy until you reach that goal. So don't give up. I think you know it, but you cannot rely on others to help you find yourself. Stick it out by yourself for a while. That way you win because you find yourself. And others also win because you will not be prone to "hurt" them while you are on your quest of self-discovery.
In no way am I trying to say you are a bad person because you have said you have hurt people because of you trying to find yourself. That's a part of life. We all get hurt at some point or another. We cannot sit and dwell on it.
Go for what you want... find yourself. Then when you do, if you feel it is worth it, go back and explain/apologize to those you feel you have hurt. Best of luck with it. :)
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