Mixed state badness

As I stand trapped in a mixed state (for those of you who are not lucky enough to be bipolar or know someone closely who is it is a state of aggitation and depression), I find myself thinking about things that have happened in the past. I think about some incidences and I get so angry.
to that person, I hate you. I hate all the things you did to me. Under your thumb I became real messed up. You lead me to believe I was nothing and without you I would be even worse. I gave up so much of myself and my life for you. I gave up so much and you gave so little. You made me feel like less of a person, that I had no worth. You kept me down so that I could never get up and leave you. I know that now, that's why I got out.
You kept me from feeling good about myself and what I was doing. Nothing I did was good enough in your eyes. You never had anything positive to say about me. You did things to degrade me emotionally as well as sexually. I came to hate my body in addition to everything else about myself. I shudder to think about what my weak mind let you do to me.
I know now that I am stronger than that and no one will ever do to me what you did. I will never be made to feel like nothing again. I'm still plagued by what you did at times, but I won't let it happen again. You were one of the people who held me down and took advantage of my illness. I hate you for it and I always will.