Coming to Terms

I've always felt ok with the fact that I am Bipolar. I knew what I had and how it can complicate things. I've learned how to cope with most of my moods and mood changes. Somehow though, I've always thought I would get past it, that I would be normal agaimn somehow, if there is such a thing. For some time I have been charting my progress by the number of pills and their level. The less pills on the lowest dosage the better. This line of thinking is entirely false though.

THe truth is there is no cure for Bipolar. It never goes away, it can only be managed. Managing never seemed enough for me. It's really hard coming to terms that, yes, I am always going to have this. Sometimes it will go into remission and I will feel fine, but it will always come back.

I hate when things go wrong. I don't want to blame it on the bipolar. My therapist said that Bipolar is not an excuse, but an explanation. I feel like it's an excuse.