Happy Halloween!

It has been a while since I had a pumpkin. So this year I got a pumpkin! Marshall and I were at the store looking for pumpkins and could not find any. We stood there in the produce aisle looking around when we saw a bunch of peppers. We both got one and decided Jack-o-Peppers would be fine. Then we found our pumpkin. I think it is pretty evil looking. And the Jack-o-Peppers are just cute. :)

She's a Bitch

I realize a lot of people think I am a bitch. The funny thing about these people is that most are people I don't really know. People I have never sat down and had a conversation with, people who have never gotten to know me. These people also have never called me a bitch to my face, so who's to say that's really what they think of me, other than other people's testaments, but gossip is gospel these days.
There is someone however that does deserve to call me a bitch who knows me quite well. If I were him I would swear up and down till I was blue in the face about how awful I am. He actually has, but then took it all back. Just the same, the fact that he doesn't hate me for things I did. He did one of the noblest things anyone could do, admit he had to let me go, no matter his wishes. While I choose to go on with what I do now, I still keep him near. Would it not be the right thing to let him go? When I know that what he desires isn't my plan for the meantime. I trust him fully and I don't want to let him go as a friend, but everyone else seems to think that is the thing to do. These people who think I am a bitch for keeping him in my life and maybe they are right. He says it's not a problem, that he doesn't care what people say. And in a greater sense neither do I. What I worry about is what is best for him as my friend as someone I do care about.
As for the other people who are calling me a bitch, mostly radio station people, go ahead. If busting ass and caring about something makes me a bitch, I am fucking proud to be one.

You're Not You by The Good Life

"You're trying to remember why uou cut all your hair
Were you trying to be someone you weren't?
You don't hang around the old haunts anymore
No, all of those bridges are burned
He doesn't like to share you
He likes your hair short
You're not you
You're not you anymore

So take off that necklace
He stole from his mother
It doesn't mean what it meant before
Pack up your pictures
And gather all your clothes
But leave that lingerie he bought you on the floor
It made you feel awkward
You felt like a whore
You're not you
You're not you anymore

Girl, you need to be patient
the day's gonna come
You'll leave your old baggage behind
No more excuses
No more denial
You're tired and you're drawing the line
You're nobody's lapdog
You're closing that door
You're not you
You're not you anymore"

My day came

Beautiful

At this moment I feel beautiful, that the world is beautiful. I feel cleansed. I've unloaded baggage, thrown it off the boat and am sailing into a sunset so amazing.
I'm feeling extra poetic today. I can't help it. Something feels right, rejuvination is mine. One step forward always feels right.

Growing Up

Lately I've been doing my introspection, my look into the mirror to see who I am. I'm not the same person I was last year at this time or even last semester. I've grown up. I am through with the party, get drunk and sex it up on the dance floor routine. Don't get me wrong I still enjoy a drink and a buzz, just not that scene. I'm ready to settle down. I'd rather take in a movie or read a book than go out to the houses.
I had the greatest time the other night hanging out at someone's apartment drinking wine and talking. I met new people away from the college scene and it was great. I am done with the college scene. I'm ready for what comes next. I'm ready to leave this behind.
I am ready to embrace what is new.