Depression weighs more than a ton of bricks

I don't know where in the depression the anger and the resentment kicked in, but it did. I've been very depressed since the death of my father. I've been through a few weeks of only wanting to sleep. Now I don't want to sleep, but I don't want to do anything. It's a mixed state, which is hell. I'm so angry and wounded. I'm upset for the things I never had with my father and things I'll never get to share with him. I'm so wrapped up in my emotions that I don't want to be near people. I just get agitated.

Sometimes I think I put myself into the state of mind that I won't ever be happy, correction that I won't ever let myself be happy. I don't feel I deserve good things. I'd only break them or harm them in some way.

I have no outlet, no bad habit to help me through this. Nothing is soothing, nothing occupies the mind instead of repeating images of what I've seen and what I will never have. I feel like there is a huge hole where I am supposed to be. A void that cannot be filled. If I am not whole, how can I complete anything or anyone?